Why I Always Want To Hug Strange Asian Ladies


When I first lost my mother 9 years ago, I found it very difficult to be around her side of the family. It was not that I did not want to be around them. It was that they were a reminder of what I had just lost. Seeing their faces, which so closely resembled hers & hearing them speak the language that I heard from her lips a million times felt like a stabbing pain in my heart.

As time went on, I found that surrounding myself with them brought me more comfort than pain. This was also true of random asian women that I would see on the street. Whenever I saw one that had her same hair, the same tightness of her cheek, or her laugh, I knew it was a sign from my mother that she was still there.

Last year an extraordinary thing happened that convinced me that this was true. My aunt (my mother’s sister) came for a rare visit from Wisconsin. While she was here we set up a dinner date with her, my father, my sister and my aunt that she was staying with during her stay. We all met at a Vietnamese restaurant that my sister had recommended. While we were waiting for our meals and catching up, I glanced up and noticed a woman the next table over. This woman looked startlingly like my sweet mama. She was talking with her husband using mannerisms so familiar to me, the way she clicked her chopsticks, the pursing of the lips as she listened to her husband speak. I softly shared with my family what I saw across the way. They all slowly turned to look at my mother’s doppelganger. My sister spoke first “I want to hug her”, and then my father exclaimed “Holy Crap!”. My aunt did not say anything, she didn’t need to. As I looked at my aunt’s tear filled eyes, I already knew what she was thinking. Discretion went right out the window as we all sat quietly staring at this stranger. I am certain this lady knew that we were watching her but none of us cared. Mom made a guest appearance at our dinner that evening & we all wanted to drink her in.

She visits me often in the form of cute little Asian mamas everywhere. So to all you sweet adorable Vietnamese ladies out there, if a stranger suddenly throws their arms around you in a strong embrace, it is probably just me & I just need a hug from my mommy.

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About The Pinterested Parent

I am loving wife to my best friend & mommy to our smarty pants little girl, who loves to learn, craft & play. I am an artist, a crafter & I am Pinterest addict. When I first started my blog it was meant to be an outlet for my Pinterest addiction. I was looking to inspire & be inspired. What it became was a wonderful journey for me & my daughter in which we chronicle our activities, crafts, lessons & a hefty slice of our life. Please join us as we navigate through this wonderful thing called motherhood.
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30 Responses to Why I Always Want To Hug Strange Asian Ladies

  1. I can’t even imagine losing my mother, but will say that when it happens I am sure that I will be quite lost without her, because my mom truly is always there when I do need her. I totally wish though that I could give you a great big hug right now (I know I am an asian lady, but still). Seriously virtual hugs your way right now!! πŸ™‚

  2. rsrote says:

    That is the sweetest story ever–what an amazing moment to share with your family!

  3. What a sweet story!!! Thanks for sharing!

  4. heresthebest says:

    Loosing your mother changes your life I think. You really have to be an adult. You don’t have a mom to care of you when you are hurting. And it’s sweet that you want to hug asian women. Hope you have a great day.

    Heidi’s Wanderings

  5. Roaen says:

    What a sweet, touching story. I’m so sorry for your loss….

  6. Aww, I am so sorry about your mom, thanks for sharing that touching story.

  7. jaydaknight says:

    This is a really beautiful way to remember your mom. I’m sure she’s watching over you all the time.

  8. That’s pretty amazing and I’m sure it was a sign from your mom! =)

  9. Mari Corona says:

    Beautiful share πŸ™‚

  10. brett says:

    well, my mom wasn’t asian at all, but i feel those same things. i hear her voice, or i see her face, her writing, her favorite foods that i never buy. sometimes it fills my heart with joy and others, it takes my breath away

    • I see her everywhere. I met a woman yesterday that reminded me of her. She spoke like her & looked like her & I really did want to reach out & hug her. I am sorry about your mom. I don’t think it matters how old you are, you always need your mother. I know that I do.

  11. Heather says:

    Ah!! Sounds like your mom was one awesome lady that gave you a lot of comfort and joy in your childhood. I love hearing stories like these. I’m sure strangers wouldn’t mind a hug from a stranger if they knew the back story! Blessings to you!

  12. cindy b says:

    Ahh loved reading this story! Great, great read! Thanks so much for sharing and loved the pics! Happy New year! xo xo

  13. Lisa Nelson says:

    Hey there,

    I love this. We are very similar. I’m not quite 39 (in 2 days) but also holding onto my 30’s with all my might. I suddenly lost my Mother 3 years ago. It’s really hard. People say that the sadness fades, and I am still waiting for it. I see my Mother everywhere I go – so I know she is still here watching over us. Honestly, I would rather have her here than have her there.

    Thanks for this lovely post!

    • I am not sure if the sadness ever fades but in time you learn to accept it more & find more peace with it. Still every once in a while something so random will strike up a memory & an emotion and I will fall apart & it has been nearly 9 years for me. HUgs to you. I know how hard it is. Remember her often & she will always live in your heart,

  14. Debi says:

    How touching. I can not imagine how hard it must have been losing your mom.

  15. Pingback: Sunday Summary: 1/12/14

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