Today my husband, posed a question that got me thinking “What would our life be like if we never had Mai?” This question shocked me because I never thought about it once. He referenced the change in our coffee table since we had a child. Where there was once a beautiful contemporary glass and steel table now sits a wooden one with drawers and crumb filled child bumpers. What once only held just a small decorative frame is now filled with dried up chunks of Play-doh, crayons, puzzle pieces, etc..etc… etc…It is amazing how such a small thing, such as a coffee table can even be impacted by a child.
I used to think that I did not want children. Life was too good. We were happy. My husband and I both had great careers, lived comfortably, traveled around the world and enjoyed each other. I would watch my friends with children. I would see their children have tantrums. I would watch their frustration and hear them complain. One of my girlfriends would often in the same breath, yell at her kids, complain about what they had just done & then end our conversation with “I can’t wait until you have kids.” Whooooah! What?! Are you kidding?
I did not understand my friends. I never understood why my friends didn’t have the time to do the simplest things. My husband & I would always scoff and say we wouldn’t stop our lives if we had children. What I realize now is it is not stopping your life, it is just changing your priorities.
It used to annoy me when my friends would refer to their children in terms of months for years. “How old is she now?” “She is 18 months.” “Oh, you mean a 1 1/2.” Boy, I was a bitch. I often joked that I was going to start referring to myself in months. I understand now why we use months to measure our toddler’s age. The changes that occur from month to month are so vast that every month counts. Incidentally, this year I will be turning 480 months.
It drove me nuts when they would do nothing but talk about their children, Isn’t there anything else to say? Now who is the worst offender? I talk about my kid so much I have to blog about her.
So to answer my husband’s question. “What would our life be like if we never had Mai?” If we never had our daughter, I am sure that we would have been perfectly content continuing to live the life that we were living, because would have been blissfully unaware of what it was like to be parents. We would not realize the amount of joy that this little person could bring into our lives. We wouldn’t know how it feels to have her say mama or dada for the first time. We wouldn’t comprehend the euphoric wave of happiness that can come over you from a single sweet kiss. We would not understand it as we did not understand the rest of these things. Life would be good… But with her life is better.