7 Stages Of PMS – A Husband’s Helpful Guide

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I am having a bad week. I started a cool new job, I no longer have to work evenings, I have more time with my family. It doesn’t sound so bad does it, well it is. The monthly ritual of misery & mood swings has reared it’s ugly head. For the past two days my poor husband can do no right. Last night I was particularly ornery & told him that he needed to pen a book on what not to say when your wife is pre-menstrual. Since it is highly unlikely that he is going to compose this helpful bit of literature, I thought that I would help out instead.
If you are one of the fortunate men out there that is not married to a victim of PMS, read on anyways many of these stages are seen in pregnancy as well.

1. The emotional stage: Guys, we know that we are oversensitive & emotional during this time. It does not need to be pointed out to us. I can cry at the drop of a hat. I broke down in tears last night because my daughter wouldn’t eat her peirogis. Is this a bit of an over-reaction? The answer is no…just go with it.
What you can do: Be ready with a box of Kleenex and avoid Lifetime & the Hallmark channel.

2. Irritability: I am typically a lovely person, but for about 3-4 days out of the month I turn into a miserable flesh eating monster. A former co-worker of mine used to lock herself in her office for days until I was over the worst of it. Sorry Michelle.
What you can do: Say nothing! If you open your mouth, it will almost certainly bring forth a tidal wave of rage. If you must speak, these are the only acceptable phrases, Can I …give you a foot rub, bring you some wine, take care of the baby so you can nap?

3. Hunger: My belly is rumbling as I type this. I am a bottomless pit that is stuffed full of chocolate, frozen yogurt & any comfort foods that I can get my chocolate covered paws on. DO NOT point out how much I am eating.
What you can do: Go get me a bag of chips..no really, go get me one. I’m starving.

4. Bloating & weight gain: If you are not already cranky & emotional enough, try on a pair of jeans. What once was just a little muffin top has changed into more of a pound cake.
What you can do: Roll back the weight on the scale and tell me that you accidentally shrunk the laundry.

5. Fatigue: As the mother of a toddler, I am tired all the time to begin with. Add the crimson tide to the mix & I might as well be sleep walking. Yaaaaaawn!
What you can do: “Honey, let me get up with the baby, You go back to sleep.” Ahhhh, that’s nice, but I am still mad at you for absoluuuutely nothing.

6. Cramping: Here is my favorite part of it all. The mind numbing pain almost makes me forget about all the rest of it.
What you can do: Trade bodies with me for the day

7. The Gassy phase: There I said it..I fart a lot during my cycle. It is not pretty or sexy but it is true. I hold it in at work all day & once I finally get home, it sounds like test day at the Kazoo factory.
What you can do: Hide all the cans of beans, broccoli or other gas producing edibles. Do not laugh & ask me if I just farted? Do not start a “Mommy farted” chant with our daughter.

Follow these simple rules & we can all get out of the next few days unscathed.

Related Topics:

http://nodivingintheshallowend.wordpress.com/2014/02/25/emotional-rollercoasters/

About The Pinterested Parent

I am loving wife to my best friend & mommy to our smarty pants little girl, who loves to learn, craft & play. I am an artist, a crafter & I am Pinterest addict. When I first started my blog it was meant to be an outlet for my Pinterest addiction. I was looking to inspire & be inspired. What it became was a wonderful journey for me & my daughter in which we chronicle our activities, crafts, lessons & a hefty slice of our life. Please join us as we navigate through this wonderful thing called motherhood.
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26 Responses to 7 Stages Of PMS – A Husband’s Helpful Guide

  1. Louisa says:

    You made me laugh. Just shared your post on google+. This is so true!

  2. Omg, totally laughing, but oh so true. And I am so in this stage yet again this month. Definitely not pretty at all and will say will be happy once it is over again!

  3. Harley Cocks says:

    Oh I adddore this!! My husbands favourite saying when he finds out I have my period is ‘I thought you were grumpy’ yes. possibly THE worst saying you could say to a pmsy woman!!

  4. Amanda K says:

    Oh my goodness, this is totally me this week! I can so relate!

  5. That made me laugh. I don’t recall being gassy during my cycle, at least not any gassier then I am any other time, LOL.

  6. This is why God made us women so resistant! Chocolate is a must!

  7. The hunger and the bloating get me every time. I am getting better at controlling my irritability. I usually know that it is time to walk away and hold my tongue.

  8. MomMaven says:

    LOL thanks for a great laugh!

  9. Karen W says:

    This is a great post. Debating whether I should have my husband read it. I think I can relate most with the fatigue, emotional junk and irritability.

  10. Shantalle says:

    This post in HILARIOUS! Love it!! Thanks for sharing 🙂

  11. That is funny. I can relate so well. I will be sending my husband to check out this post and learn something

  12. I go through all of these phases in an hour and then back to the start again when I’m PMS-ing. Rob usually just stays far away. This was so funny 🙂

  13. Mrs K says:

    Thank you for linking up! This was a fun post to read! Maybe you could also check out my Blog Challenge here: http://iammrsk.blogspot.fi/2014/02/a-blog-challenge.html
    I’d love to read your post!

  14. This made me laugh! Although I have don’t have PMS, I am pregnant which probably equates to a lot of the same! Very cute. And yum-nutella! Congrats on the job!

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