A Mother’s Resume

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Yesterday I did a post about the irrational fears of mothers. A reader commented that these irrational thoughts are part of our job description. This made me chuckle. My response was that our job description is far too long, that sometimes I forget what is on it. It got me thinking. Being a parent is a difficult job. It is demanding, keeps long hours & you never get a day off. Our list of responsibilities is a lengthy one.

A Mother’s Resume

12/18/2014
The Pinterested Parent
https://www.facebook.com/thepinterestedparent
Thepinterestedparent.com

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OBJECTIVE:

To successfully raise our child to be a sweet, smart, well-mannered young lady with good manners, family values, respect for others and a strong sense of self without screwing it all up.

EXPERIENCE:

Mother to Mai (January 2012-present)

Child Care Manager 

  • Nursed for a year with no regard to sore breasts, bleeding nipples or several bouts of mastitis
  • Changed thousands of soiled diapers & cleaned poop out of clothing, hair and sheets on several occasions.
  • Endured sleepless nights comforting a crying baby, a cranky toddler, a sick kid & a scared child
  • Over-protector and dirty look wielder to playground bullies
  • Kissed and bandaged many boo boo & ouchies
  • Wiper of runny noses, poopy bottoms, dirty hands & tears
  • Personal chef to the most finicky of eaters
  • Washed, bathed, shampooed & brushed the teeth of a squirming child daily
  • Hairdresser & stylist specializing in pig tales & Elsa braids
  • Responsible for transport by either horsey ride, piggy back, carrying, stroller or car
  • Diffusing tantrums & meltdowns

Education Director

  • Teacher of colors, objects, animals, math, reading, sign language, problem solving and geography
  • Acting as a role model trying to accomplish all of the things in the above objective without passing on all of my own bad habits and short comings
  • Professor of arts & crafts with a deep focus on paper plate art, painting, Play-Doh sculptures & macaroni art
  • Assists in the progression of crawling, walking, talking, potty training & riding a bike
  • Responsible for discussions on God, love, sex, death and other various subjects pertaining to life

Purveyor of memories

  • Amateur photojournalist chronicling the life of my little girl from birth to present day
  • Collector of art projects & drawings
  • Archiver of cute, funny & beautiful moments that I will hold securely in my heart & head

Head of Entertainment

  • Skilled at Peekaboo, I got your nose & shadow puppets
  • Builder of sheet forts & puzzles
  • Lead singer of popular children’s songs & silly made up ones
  • Tea party guest and Play-Doh cake taste tester
  • Master story teller and book reader
  • Knock Knock joke aficionado

Housekeeper

  • Washer of dirty laundry (no sir, that is actually daddy)
  • Dishwasher
  • Sweeps up dried up Play-Doh, glitter, crumbs, chunks of crayon, etc…
  • Wipes up juice spills and potty training accidents
  • Picks up toys, and then picks them up again and then again and again
  • Instructs our little housekeeper in training how to be responsible for all of the above chores

SPECIAL SKILLS

  • Carrying a diaper bag, pocket book, juice boxes and stuffed animal while balancing a child on the hip
  • Giver & receiver of unconditional love
  • Demonstrating patience when my patience wears thin
  • Expert at hugs, kisses & cuddles
  • Mind reader during incomprehensible crying fits
  • References are available in crayon upon request.

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About The Pinterested Parent

I am loving wife to my best friend & mommy to our smarty pants little girl, who loves to learn, craft & play. I am an artist, a crafter & I am Pinterest addict. When I first started my blog it was meant to be an outlet for my Pinterest addiction. I was looking to inspire & be inspired. What it became was a wonderful journey for me & my daughter in which we chronicle our activities, crafts, lessons & a hefty slice of our life. Please join us as we navigate through this wonderful thing called motherhood.
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37 Responses to A Mother’s Resume

  1. Omg, couldn’t agree more and smiled at this whole thing, especially Elsa braids, as this is a huge request here still daily with my Frozen obsessed girls 🙂

  2. KaboodleMum says:

    Haha! I have elsa braid dilemma at ny house too

  3. “…dirty look wielder to playground bullies” and “Mind reader during incomprehensible crying fits” Made me chuckle! This was great. 🙂 🙂

  4. Robin (Masshole Mommy) says:

    Oh that is too sweet.. I would definitely hire you 😉

  5. Megan Elford says:

    Ha, I love this! Mothering really does require a ton of skills! If only it was a paid position … 😉

  6. maggiesblog2 says:

    This is so true! I have done all of the above 3 times over already. You never stop being a mommy.

  7. Mrs. Jilly Fisher says:

    I’ve had a rough couple weeks with a two year old and a six month old. No days off over here. Life of a mommy. 😉 I love it though.

  8. Danielle says:

    Motherhood can be really tough. I have good days and I have bad days but its a pretty great job.

  9. Lois Jones says:

    I think that pretty well covers what we moms do.

  10. Rosey says:

    Ha! This is awesome!! And the last line is the perfect way to wrap it all up. 🙂

  11. What a very cute ‘resume’. I especially like the “specializing in pig tales & Elsa braids” skill.

  12. Debi says:

    The list of things for a mom to do it a long one. I love reading these, it puts a smile on my face.

  13. Liz Mays says:

    The saying “a mother’s work is never done” could be extended to a mother’s resume, it seems. The never ending resume!

  14. Motherhood has got to be one of the toughest and hardest working jobs you can have. Thanks for the reminder!

  15. crysta911 says:

    What a great and well thought out blog post. I might share it on my page later!

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